A badass poem

I WAS UGLY CRYING

I cried the first time I heard this poem.

The 7th grade class at my kids’ school rolled their eyes and sighed so stupidly loud. Oh my goodness, they were comically annoyed when their teacher announced they will recite a poem called Being Human on Valentine’s Day.

I had no idea the words that would be spoken.

Four months later, at a school parent meeting, the same class says these words from the same poem and THEY DID IT AGAIN TO ME. I am cryinggggg.

I’ve been crying a lot lately.

In car rides to school with my kids this week. While in child’s pose during a yoga class next to strangers. On a walk with my dog while she sniffs the ice plant. In bed before sleep saying a prayer to a presence I don’t fully understand but I am confident is there, is universe, is something I trust is enveloped in love and goodness.

For a very long time, I’ve cried for other reasons. But these tears lately, they are different. They are laced with gratitude. The droplets dripping down my face are soaked with a bit of delight.

It’s why I haven’t come here to write in about a month. I’ve been feeling ALIVE and I didn’t have a desire to sit in front of a screen. That’s the problem with writing sometimes. I need to stay put and tip tap my fingers. I need to be stuck to my laptop. I have stay still for awhile. These are all things I don’t really feel like doing when I’m feeling good.

But today, I got a little burst of energy and a desire to share this poem with you.

You can watch/listen to the poet Naima Penniman. I also decided to read it if you’d like to hear my own rendition in the audio option here:

Being Human by Naima Penniman

I wonder if the sun debates dawn

some mornings

not wanting to rise

out of bed

from under the down-feather horizon

if the sky grows tired

of being everywhere at once

adapting to the mood

swings of the weather

if clouds drift off

trying to hold themselves together

make deals with gravity

to loiter a little longer

I wonder if rain is scared

of falling

if it has trouble

letting go

if snow flakes get sick

of being perfect all the time

each one

trying to be one-of-a-kind

I wonder if stars wish

upon themselves before they die

if they need to teach their young

how to shine

I wonder if shadows long

to just-for-once feel the sun

if they get lost in the shuffle

not knowing where they’re from

I wonder if sunrise

and sunset

respect each other

even though they’ve never met

if volcanoes get stressed

if storms have regrets

if compost believes in life

after death

I wonder if breath ever thinks of suicide

if the wind just wants to sit

still sometimes

and watch the world pass by

if smoke was born

knowing how to rise

if rainbows get shy back stage

not sure if their colors match right

I wonder if lightning sets an alarm clock

to know when to crack

if rivers ever stop

and think of turning back

if streams meet the wrong sea

and their whole lives run off-track

I wonder if the snow

wants to be black

if the soil thinks she’s too dark

if butterflies want to cover up their marks

if rocks are self-conscious of their weight

if mountains are insecure of their strength

I wonder if waves get discouraged

crawling up the sand

only to be pulled back again

to where they began

if land feels stepped upon

if sand feels insignificant

if trees need to question their lovers

to know where they stand

if branches waver at the crossroads

unsure of which way to grow

if the leaves understand they’re replaceable

and still dance when the wind blows

I wonder

where the moon goes

when she is in hiding

I want to find her there

and watch the ocean

spin from a distance

listen to her

stir in her sleep

effort give way to existence