A guide + lessons from 8 years of framing our goals and making our dreams a centerpiece in our home

Frame it and hang it! Follow our tradition since 2015 and invest in your life like a piece of fine art in your home

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More ideas for paid newsletters on goals: 1) get a full view of our previous years’ goals 2) my husband’s personal goal setting tips. Let me know if you’d like to see this!

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Every year since 2015, my family displays our goals on the wall in a high traffic area of our home. I love this ritual so dang much I wanted to share how we do it with you.

This is a guide of wisdom and tactics from 8 years of jotting down our hopes and dreams and encasing it in a cheap Ikea frame for all the world to see.

But, first, I want to reflect on the the anti-resolution Stephanie.

A few years ago, I used to think the entire essence of self help was an icky business (and some of it will always be but hear me out.) It seemed inauthentic and preachy. Things labeled with self help felt like a pyramid scheme, out to get you and con you into doing things that don’t work. I thought it sold people on obvious ideas, with concepts we already know. When I see all the resolution naysayers on the Internet talk about why they’re not making goals, I get it. Often times, we’re stuck in this mindset in January only to find ourselves falling flat on our faces in February.

So, what changed for me?

I live with an overachiever. My husband.

Never pushy, he’d ask me to join in his goal-setting and I would resist like a stubborn toddler.

For years, I would joke about his self improvement habits (I know, why did I suck so bad?!) He wrote specific goals and pieced together vision boards filled with pie-in-the-sky dreams.

Then I watched his dreams unfold right in front of him. I’m not saying they appeared like magic. He focused on and worked toward everything he set for himself. Then those goals started to appear almost exactly like he envisioned. That pie was no longer in the sky among the clouds, it was right there, in his lap.

I’ve seen him do incredible things while being a modest but very confident person. For those of you who don’t know the man, he has this way about him that is so damn likable. He’s a quiet achiever. He sticks to his values, he’s authentic, and allows himself to be vulnerable. Basically, he trumped the “self-help” stereotype I created in my own head.

As overdone as it may seem, manifesting is freaking real, you guys.

Will you join me in the following exercise?

Framing your goals for everyone to see allows you and others to better understand your dreams and intentions.

Plus, when people come over, it’s a really great conversation starter. Write what you want in your life and show it off!

The only goal for this chocolate lab is daily crunchy meat treats.

The unofficial guide to making family goals the centerpiece in your home

1) A little mindset exercise

Here are two quotes from two very different men that can help your perspective on making goals.

The first quote is probably the last person you’d think to turn to for life advice but isn’t that how life is? Unexpected wisdom can be picked up just about anywhere. In a letter to his friend:

“Beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living within that way of life.” - Hunter S. Thompson, journalist and author of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Here’s another quote:

“Happiness is not about reaching your goals. It’s about aligning your goals with your values.

Progress without purpose is empty.

Achievement without impact is fleeting.

Success is most rewarding when it serves the people and principles that matter to you.” - Adam M. Grant, organizational psychologist at Wharton School of Business, on his IG

When you create your goals, ask yourself why you are making them. Does it match up with your values? One of my values is having integrity. I have goals related to my work in storytelling, whether it’s through my podcast or my newsletter. In these works, I always aim to tell authentic and real stories, which goes back to my value of upholding integrity.

That said, I also think that you don’t need to do this with every single goal. Heck, I have goals about learning to roller skate backwards because I’m mediocre at it right now and I want to be as fly as all the cool kids at the skating rink!

2) Have fun with making your goals. Don’t take yourself or it too seriously.

As I was writing this, I realized something that was unintentional. A value in our household is curiosity. I want to learn more about roller skating and one of my son’s goals is to “teach mom to build Legos” — both line up with the curiosity value. No need to make this a big fuss. Your goals and values will probably align anyway. Notice if it does, or if it doesn’t.

3) Invite your family to join in. Do not be pushy. I repeat. DO NOT BE PUSHY.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. If you want to start making family goals, introduce the idea to them. You know your family best and how to approach them but my number one piece of advice here is to be chill. Don’t force it. Seriously, don't be like Monica:

Simply say a few lines about why you think it’s important. If you have kids, maybe consider only you and your partner doing it and then, get your kids on board with it later. If your family wants to do it, AWESOME!

If they don’t, that’s cool, too!

If they don’t do it, lead by example. Type up your goals and frame them. Hang it on your side of the bathroom, or on your bedside, in your pantry, wherever! I bet you it’ll start conversations. They’ll ask you how your goal is going, to which you can be honest either way it’s going.

Eventually they may come along for the ride if they see you doing it, having fun with it, achieving your goals. Even better, if those goals aren’t going your way, you can be honest about it and not let it beat you up. Honesty goes a long way in this exercise.

My personal 2024 goals.

4) Be specific. Or not. You decide.

Look, you can be hardcore about your goals, or you can be relaxed about it. Or in between. I choose to be in between. Again, have fun and don’t take it too seriously! If you make it too rigid, you won’t do it.

The SMART method is a great reference to be clear on your goals.

• Specific: Clear of ambiguity. Instead of “I will lose weight” vs. “I will lose 10 pounds”

• Measurable: What numbers will show if it worked?

• Achievable: If it’s too lofty you’ll give up, if it’s too easy, then that’s a pointless goal.

• Relevant: As I said earlier, decide if the goal aligns with your values.

• Time-bound: Set a finish line, some sort of date.

Here’s one of my goals that’s specific: Finish 200 hour yoga training by May 10

Here’s one that’s not specific and I’m cool with it the way it: Make and learn more art skills and have fun with it: draw, watercolor, pottery

Also, I want to reiterate that the New Year is not a time to reinvent yourself. Many of my goals are leftovers from what I’ve been working on the year before. For example, I sucked at snowboarding in 2023. My goal is to suck less at snowboarding in 2024. (Note: the goal is written very differently in the frame, I wrote it this way to be funny.)

5) If your family is down to play, make it simple and think of these concepts.

Make it approachable. We section our goals. Each person has their own space to write whatever goals they want. We have a Family goals section (things we want to accomplish together like continued connection time at dinner and before bedtime). You can include sections on wealth/finance, travel/experiences, marriage and relationships. Group your goals and it will be easier to digest.

Make it a bonding experience. This is a wonderful excuse for you, your partner, your family members to talk about their dreams. You might be surprised to hear what your kids want and don’t want to do. Do you ever find yourself wishing and dreaming things for others? This is a great way to find out what their dreams truly are, not the ones you had envisioned for them.

Another note, for the parents reading, this is a great reminder to your kids that you are human beings working on yourselves, too. They will love seeing you working to achieve your dreams alongside them trying to reach for theirs. Be vocal about when things aren’t going well and what you plan to do about it – our kids need to see us as real humans who are not invincible.

Make it an opportunity for change. I do not achieve all (sometimes, most of) my goals. In early January 2023, my goal was to finish writing a book by Dec. 31. By the end of January, I had decided to stop and focus on other things. When I saw that goal on the wall throughout the year, I could have told myself I gave up. Instead, I chose to focus on other things more important to me, like writing my newsletter for an active and engaged audience, and running a podcast.

It was no biggie. We are humans who evolve and change constantly. Yes, these goals are sort of set in stone (because it’s in a frame) but embrace the updates in your life, don’t poop on your past goal that didn’t work out for you. It doesn’t define you and, guess what! Your goals aren’t stamped on your forehead.

My personal 2023 goals - some were met and others were not. Oh well, on to next year!

6) Reframe your frame

If you’re feeling pushed to change and don't want to reinvent yourself (which you don’t need to!), what if your goal is to improve what you were already doing last year? If you don’t want goals on display, what if you type up your values instead? Whatever you achieve in life will always go back to your beliefs and principles. If 2023 was the year of realizing what didn’t serve you, what if your goal is to do more of the same, to peel back the layers and get to the core of the baggage that isn’t serving you? Or do away with the goal-setting altogether and think of a few words you want to embody in 2024. 

You do you! Have fun with dreaming up your life!

If you’re interested in the framing business, I’d love to hear from you:

• Have a hangup on getting started? Tell me.

• Send pics of your framed goals.

• Send me a rough draft of your goals.

• Tell me what your family thinks of this idea (good or bad)

For those of you interested in viewing my family’s entire frame of goals, I also posted it on my podcast Patreon here. We are posting exclusive content there for a subscription fee. Come join!