To my nannies past, present and future,
I’m feeling especially gushy right now. I’ve been traveling and relaxing alone for the past 24 hours, without my kids, without getting up early and then sprinting the marathon of bedtime, without caring for our 1 million animals, and making sure my home is intact. I slept in today! (Who is holding down the fort? My current nanny. Thank youuuuuu x1M, Anaid!)
Here I am, writing this self-deprecating letter because I’m feeling especially grateful. Promise, I’m sober. To all the nannies who’ve worked with us (there’s been 12 of you now!), and to all the nannies, babysitters, caregivers out there, this one’s for you.
From the bottom of my heart, I truly, absolutely feel that, because of you… I’m a less shitty mom. You help me be a good enough mom. As parents, all we do is try our best, and we get to have you as our sidekick. They say it takes a village and we hired ours, we hired you.
We have a unique relationship. This is your job we hired you to do. But your job is in a home, with a family, where you sometimes see your boss disheveled in their undies, or toot in the living room, while you may be cleaning dog puke off the floor.
The best way I can describe our relationship is by comparing my family to Taylor Swift. I know, this is a weird metaphor, just go with me here.
Swifties (lol yep I know the name of her fans) respect everything she does. From the outside, it looks like she’s got it together. Then a fan goes to her concert for the first time. They come early and see what it takes to make Taylor Swift. They see folks setting up the stage, others doing sound checks, some working on the lights and the set, then there’s the backup dancers, the band and other musicians, and more. This is when the Swiftie comprehends it; there’s a huge support system to make her put on a great show.
You see, she doesn’t do this by herself. You help make this entire production possible. You are many crew members rolled into one.
Because of you: My kids continue to have structure and routine when I’m not there. My house is picked up. My thongs are folded. My kitchen is miraculously tidy for 100 people living in our house. My grocery shopping is done and so is my home cooked-dinner. I get to keep my career going. I get to go on dates with my husband. I can hole up when I’m having a very low mental day. My personal interests are being explored. And sometimes I find a balance in a world that is often not kind to moms.
We’re very fortunate to have and afford a support system. In this village I very carefully picked you and entrusted you with this production. In each one of you, I felt that you can, and did, add something to my family. Your wisdom, your way of doing things I may have not thought of, your interests, your goals. You agreed to uphold our values. Yes, I made a ridiculous 20-page document outlining your roles and duties. Sorry, not sorry, I made you read it.
Some of you worked out a short few months, others a year or even two. We learned something from every single nanny. Each time a nanny leaves her post and goes onto her next job or pursuit, I tell my kids a story.
Once upon a time, there was a farm with a mama duck, a papa duck and their chicks. Mama and papa duck had to leave the farm to gather food for their growing chicks so they asked if the cow would help watch over the chicks while they were gone. The cow said yes, and when mama and papa came back, the chicks were rhyming joyfully in song. Cow taught them how to sing. The next day, the mama and papa duck had to leave again to gather more food so they asked for the goose to protect them for a few hours. When they came back, the chicks were floating happily along the lake. The goose taught them to swim. And so on, and so on.
I know that this is a tough job, it’s also a weird job helping to raise kids that are not your own. I’m sorry if I didn’t thank you when you had an especially crappy day dealing with literal crap (from baby/kid/animal), or wiping our counters or sweeping dog hairs off the floor, yet again.
Now that I’ve rambled for way too long, I guess I could have summed up this love letter in just a couple sentences.
I wanted to let you know that I acknowledge all that you did or do, thank you for doing it.
Each one of you was a part of this little production, still going strong on tour.
Thank you, crew!