My basic b*tch book list
Recs for any interested reader, especially if you haven't picked up a book in years
This week I have been reading the Roald Dahl book, Matilda, out loud to my family. I was wondering if the content was too mature for my 6-year-old but we kept reading along.
For those of you who aren’t familiar, Matilda is a 5-year-old prodigy. In one chapter, a librarian watched in awe as the little girl devoured novels from authors like Dickens and Hemingway. To grasp if the girl was retaining the information, the librarian asked what she thought of the books, to which Matilda responded: “Mr Hemingway says a lot of things I don't understand. Especially about men and women. But I loved it all the same. The way he tells it I feel I am right there on the spot watching it all happen.”
Then my son interrupted the reading. He told us he feels the same as Matilda, that sometimes he doesn’t understand the words in the book but he feels the story.
What a beautiful way to sum up why I read books. I read so I understand the world better. So I can enjoy a good story. Unlike the quick hits of content on the Internet, books give me further meaning and depth in someone else’s experience. I enjoy the journey through their eyes and words. And, plain and simple, I read books because it’s fun.
A couple of friends know my love of books and asked for my recommendations. I was excited to hear people (even just two) care about what I read and recommend.
After going through my library, I realized the books I love the most are memoir and first-person narrative so expect to see mostly those on this list. These stories seem simpler to follow because I’m reading one person’s path. I personally think reading in first-person is a great option for folks who might have a hard time paying attention or following along in a story — great for any of you who might want to get into the business of reading books but haven’t yet. It’s also why I called today’s newsletter my basic bitch book list!
I decided not to share full summaries of each book; you can find those when you click on the link. Instead, I wrote how the book made me feel, what mindset I was in at the time, why I enjoyed it, and my experience reading it.
What book(s) changed your life? Share in the comments how it made you feel and why you loved it so much.
My basic b*tch book list
For folks who aren’t book readers but want to be
Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood by Trevor Noah : I convinced two teenagers, my mom, sister and husband to read this book. It’s funny, it’s easy to read because it’s funny, and it’s mixed with a lot of honesty and hardship. Also, Trevor’s mom is one badass South African woman. Page turner.
Bossypants by Tina Fey : I remember reading this and constantly interrupting my husband to tell him all the hilarious lines, which he got a kick out of, too. I hope you read this book and find someone to share all the funny nuggets.
Personal stories from badass memories
Writing memoir is hard. Do you remember what you ate last Tuesday for dinner? I sure as heck don’t. Now try to do that but with big chunks of your life and pull some hard truths from those moments. These are a few of my favorite memoirs.
Educated by Tara Westover : This book will blow your damn mind. It details Tara’s crazy family life as a survivalist in the mountains of Idaho. This woman didn’t know how to read until high school age and she wrote one of the most fabulously written first-narrative stories I’ve ever read. She also earned a PhD not that much longer after learning to read!? WTF.
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls : My husband and I read this book aloud to each other and we couldn’t wait to get in bed each night to read it. We read about Jeannette’s dysfunctional family but from her peculiar, young point of view. It’s a mix of emotions and we were gripped by her childhood stories.
Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls : Jeannette writes this novel as if it was told by her grandmother, Lily Casey. This woman is one of the most likable characters I’ve read in a long time; a no BS woman, who goes through life with courage, grace and resilience. A great period piece because it’s set in the Grand Canyon in the early 1900s, a tough time to live. But she does it with such wit. Also a page turner.
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner : I remember grabbing this one before hopping on a plane and wished I had a longer flight because I didn’t want to stop reading it. Wow, Michelle Zauner is a beautiful storyteller, who describes her relationship with her mother, with being half Korean, and what love can mean in several types of relationships (parental, to yourself, to a significant other). Also, as a foodie, I loved reading her descriptions of Korean cuisine.
Know My Name by Chanel Miller : A survivor of a highly publicized sexual assault, Chanel’s book was heavy but that shouldn’t turn you away. In fact, it’s exactly the reason you should read it. Her brave story on what it’s like for a sexual assault victim must be read by everyone.
- : Another heavy read but it’s a story that matters. It made me reevaluate how we view people who are fat, overweight, and have eating disorders. Roxane is a master of words. What’s it like to have a body condemned by society? It’s more than you think.
When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi : The author died writing this book. I loved how he reminded me to find the beauty of life, the life we get to live. It’s also a pretty short read. I cried in a good way.
What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo : This woman helped put generational trauma and complex PTSD on the map. Stephanie wrote about her f-ed up childhood. It’s shocking and it’s honest. I found her detailed storytelling helpful as she described how the past shows up in her current life. I think a lot of hurt people could benefit in reading this story.
A Herculean piece of reporting
Invisible Child: Poverty, Survival & Hope in an American City by Andrea Elliott : I barreled through this very long book in a week. I recommended it to my friend who read it in 3 days. It took me through some crazy emotions and I cannot get over the incredible reporting. Andrea followed a family through their struggles with poverty for 8 years. The amount of detail and background is worthy of achievement. Another Pulitzer winner and it makes me appreciate the work of journalists.
Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand: I read this book twice. The first time to myself and, the second time, I read it out loud to my husband. It is the story of Louis Zamperini, an American World War II veteran (stranded in the middle of the Pacific for 47 days), Japanese POW, and an Olympic distance runner. Author Laura Hillenbrand did some major research and reporting here and I appreciated every detail.
Help ya self with a heaping pile of good mindset
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear : He breaks down how to think/rethink your habits in palatable way. Like any self help book, you need to be open to change. James writes in a simple and effective way, with good analogies. Easy to pick up, put down, and pick up again. There’s a reason it was the #1 book sold on Amazon in 2023.
- : A multi-hyphenate who is honest about her journey before, during, and after burnout. This was a great book for me to read in the midst of feeling like life was way too much.
- : I read this one during my 40th trip to Spain and it was perfect timing because I was going crazy with the load of life’s responsibilities. I loved reading this book because Pooja speaks from personal experience. She turns the popular ways to view self-care upside down. And it’s a good thing! Less spa days and more life changing ways to truly care for yourself, like setting boundaries and shutting down martyr mode.
Live Learn Love Well: Lessons from a Life of Progress Not Perfection by
: I picked this one up at a Coronado (San Diego) bookstore because Emma’s photo on the cover lured me in. I can feel her smile throughout this book. She’s a Peloton instructor who shares all the lovely ways she lives her life and it inspired me to keep cooking, take risks, lean into my love of being home, and be good with changing my goals. By the way, you don’t need to use a Peloton to love this book; in fact, I have one and only sat on it 3 times!
On friendship
Stay True by Hua Hsu : Did you ever know someone you didn’t like and then grew to love? This is an awesome time capsule of the 90s, its music, and a nod to Berkeley/Oakland which is where his story takes place. It made me miss my old stomping grounds. I can’t pinpoint how he does it but Hua is a master of describing emotions in a story in which nothing actually ever happens. It’s about friendship, relationships, death. Go read it and find out why it was a Pulitzer-winning novel.
Dinners with Ruth by Nina Totenberg : I read this book over a year ago before many of my mom friends have started to really trickle in. Perhaps this book was meant to be for what was to come in my friendships because I have found amazing ones over the past year. Nina explores the beauty of many different friendships throughout her career as an NPR journalist. Yes, she was Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s closest friend but this book is beyond just her relationship. I also enjoyed reading about these wonderful career women.
Disturbingly funny
It’s humorous and sick at the same time. These may make you feel uncomfortable and shocked and, because of good storytelling and a likable narrator (or maybe despicable one, too?!), they keep you coming back for more.
I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy : Her mom is messed up and you’re about to get a front seat to this story that is somehow hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time. Jennette is so good at setting the scene, dialogue with her mother. Get ready to see a crazy side of being a child actor.
Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs : I was shocked, I was disturbed, I found Augusten’s observations about his mom and weird family life so incredibly crazy. Yet I kept coming back for more.
Any books from David Sedaris: I’ve read so many of his books. I have at least 5 of his books on my bookshelf. It’s like reading The Onion. I love how he gives you a perfect view of the weird things he tells himself as he observes and experiences the world around him. He also has a dysfunctional family, which adds to his storytelling. I’ve read that a lot of people don’t get his humor but have found they like him better on audio. Like a comedian, it seems to be about the timing and delivery.
If you are drawn to a crazy adventure
Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer : I remember this book being huge when it first came out in the late 90s. I read it for the first time this year and the story still delivers in amazement more than 20 years later. It is also another admirable piece of reporting, even though the author’s credibility was questioned. Regardless, it’s a vivid story of climbing Mt. Everest and I could not put it down. Neither could my husband when he read it right after I finished it.
Between a Rock and a Hard Place by Aron Ralston : I grabbed this book from a free library at a climbing gym in Santa Cruz, California and I’m so glad I did. We know Aron ultimately loses his arm in a climbing accident, which the books gets into great detail. Aron also focuses on his other previous adventures, the ups, downs, and mistakes of his time in the outdoors. There’s a bear scene I read out loud to my kids and they still ask me to read that chapter to them every now and then.
For the crazy cat lady or dog obsessed
I told you I love stories told in the first-person. I know this sounds ridiculous but I also loved these books narrated by… a cat and a dog.
The Travelling Cat Chronicles by Hiro Arikawa, translated into English by Philip Gabriel : It’s a story about life and death, friendship, family, and so many relatable themes. I kept giggling to myself that I was actually reading a book narrated by a cat and enjoying the comfort of this story.
A Dog’s Purpose by W. Bruce Cameron : When I finished the cat story, I saw this book and said, heck, why not lean into the crazy cat and dog lady brand even more!? It’s easy to read, it’s full of emotions. I cried, I laughed a lot, and it made me appreciate my weirdo dogs even more.
Raising humans
Essential Labor by Angela Garbes : All hail domestic workers and caregivers. They are the backbone of our society and Angela does one hell of a job reminding us of this. It made me rethink my role as a mother and feel proud of what we’re doing. I got emotional about this book; it made me proud to be a mom and it made me mad (and also hopeful) about our society’s support for parents and caregivers.
Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne : This book was so valuable to me when my kids were in pre-school. I picked it up again for this book list and realized there are so many good reminders in here that are relevant to parenting elementary aged children (and even a teenager).
The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary : This woman changed the way I saw myself as a parent. She reminded me our children are not an extension of us, how they are their own humans who have a right to walk their own path. The biggest thing I learned from Dr. Shefali is that the best way I can parent my children is to work on being the best version of myself. Modeling is mothering.
Kids books for Filipino and Chinese representation
Did you know that Filipinos are the third-largest Asian American group in the US? Los Angeles and San Francisco have the largest Filipino populations behind Manila. Representation is important and it is so much better than when I was a kid in the 90s. Let’s keep this up! Let’s make our kids feel seen with the books on our shelves. Here are a few favorites in my house, with worn pages as proof.
Cora Cooks Pancit written by Dorina K. Lazo Gilmore and illustrated by Kristi Valiant : It’s a story about a girl’s connection to where she came from through the act of making food with her mom. It’s simple and it’s sweet and there’s a pancit recipe in the back of the book!
The Ugly Vegetables by Grace Lin : A wonderful story that reminded me of my childhood garden, filled with vegetables no one at my school ever talked about (hello, bittermelon!). In this book, the weird garden veggies cooked by a Chinese mom are devoured by the neighbors.
Where the Mountain Meets the Moon by Grace Lin : This was pure adventure. My daughter loved this book and shared it with her class, who also loved it. It’s fantasy Chinese folklore and I loved that the story was filled with mini fables within. Lovely illustrations throughout.
Audio book (an unpopular rec, don’t cancel me)
I don’t listen to many audiobooks so I just have one.
Will by Will Smith : I have a caveat: I listened to this book (narrated by Will) before his violent act on stage. When I saw the news about it, I immediately thought of how I heard his story on audiobook. I remembered hearing stories of his abusive father and connected the dots to his actions. I’m not saying any behavior is excused but it was also fascinating to have heard about his childhood and then witness what he did. As an entertainer, I love Will Smith. He’s funny, he’s likeable and I recommend this book because Will shares great stories of how he started out in the music and show biz. Lots of great throwbacks to his days as Fresh Prince, his “bad” music career, and more.
So many great recommendations. I particularly appreciate the books by Asian Americans. I've save this post to refer back in the future!
Great list, Stephanie and so many I haven't read. I can see we have similar taste so I'm adding a bunch to my reading list. I do love fiction though and sometimes, because I write personal essay, I like escaping into fiction and getting inspired by how great fiction writers set scenes. I especially love the noir authors treatment of first person like Raymond Chandler. Reading rocks!