Street smarts vs. book smarts

What's on your life skills list?

I earned good enough grades to get into college. But this story I’m about to tell you proves that book smarts means nothing if I don’t have street smarts, too.

A few days ago, I was driving my truck on the freeway and a man in another truck to my left locked eyes with me and said something, not sure what. I was trying to focus on the road. 

With a smirk, I thought to my self, ooh, I’ve still got it. I must look cute in my red outfit.

I continue driving. Another man in a Mercedes drives up next to me and starts waving. I’m thinking, oh heeeey, today is my day. Is it my hair? What’s so appealing?

But he’s now waving his hands erratically and points down. Uh oh. I take the next exit, park and climb out of my truck. 

Two men were not hitting on me today. I have a flat tire.

I drive into a Shell station and take a mental scan of my life. I have never had to fill a flat car tire before but I’ve filled bike tires so I’m fairly confident I can do it. 

I insert my credit card, get the twirly hose, squat down, unscrew the cap and push the lever. Water squirts out and onto my face. I look at the machine and see it’s for water and air. Maybe I didn’t angle it right for air so I push it again. Nope, wrong. Life is squirting me with a lesson on my stupidity. 

I find the hose for air on the other side of the machine. I push it against the valve and wait. The tire is not filling up as fast as I thought it would. 

When in doubt, I grab my phone. This is a real screenshot of what I googled:

Geez, I am so far deep in self-deprecation right now, I can’t believe I’m sharing this story with you. If you haven’t lost respect for me yet, keep reading.

After a while, I don’t think it’s working because the tire still looks flat. Then I do something I didn’t want to do. I called my husband.

Our FaceTime ends and we decide that maybe the nozzle is broken, or the valve on the tire is busted. What he should have told me in my moment of despair – but I’m glad he didn’t – is that I’m the faulty one.

I drive to Discount Tire and a nice man fills up all 4 tires.

While this guy was doing a task I couldn’t do, I reflected on what just happened. I started my day on top, thinking two men wanted my phone number; I was like a nice new set of tires with shiny rims. In a matter of a few freeway exits, I end up as a deflated old wheel. 

This entire ordeal gave me a wakeup call. I’m almost 40 and I’m embarrassed to say I also don’t know how to change a car tire.

I spoke to my cousin that day and told her about the day’s events, and how I need help with life’s basics. She very lovingly told me it’s OK if I don’t know, I can call AAA. For a second, only a second, I agreed. Yeah, just call a person to come out and do it for me!

Then I remembered water splashing shame on my face from earlier that day. I need to know how to do it myself. What if my phone is dead, or I’m in the middle of nowhere?

And like many moments in the last 8 years, I asked the question: What would I tell my kids?

My husband recently had a flat tire with the kids in the car. He changed it himself. He told me, “I could have called for help. But I’m not helpless, so I did it.”

Thanks, husband. Here’s my slow clap for you.

But also, damnit, you’re right. 

So now I have a list of life’s practical things I think I need to know, therefore my kids need to know before I release them into the “real world.” 

This reminded me of a book I’m reading, called Paddling My Own Canoe, the author Audrey Sutherland wrote about her solo adventures in the 1960s and 1970s on the coast of Moloka’i. She had 4 kids and wrote a must-know list for each of them by age 16:

This tire incident happened and I have simultaneously been reading this book. I don’t think life’s events transpire coincidentally. 

Here’s the start of a list. To save myself some dignity, I will not tell you what I don’t know how to do (yet).

Comment or send me a message for your suggestions and additions!

• Change a car tire, pump air in car tire

• Change a baby

• File taxes

• Manage personal finances

• Check and change car fluids like oil, etc.; basics of repairing a car

• Clean your own home, including countertops, dishes, toilets

• Make your bed

• Make yourself a meal, including cooking eggs, rice, and prepare vegetables

• Wash your own clothes

• Use a drill and screwdriver

• Swim

• Start a fire without matches

• Speak with adults, people you don’t know, and ask for help

• Listen to an adult with empathy

• Apply for a job

• Make money

• Drive a car

• Ride a bike

• Basic first-aid skills, including help a choking baby, child, adult, and CPR

• Read a map, how to tell North

• Basic sewing

• Speak a second language

One last thing. The tire needs to be changed so I will learn how to do it, and do it myself, this week. Wish me luck!

A pic of the former flat tire and my sweet sweet dog.