Teeny tiny ways to treat yo' self

$Free.99 ways to buy contentment

I burned my finger and lived (barely) to tell you the tale.

We have these white mugs I sought out years ago. I remember calling the now defunct Pier 1 Imports to make sure they had at least 4 in stock before I went out of my way to drive to the home goods store and brave the parking lot during the holiday season. Up until Wednesday, I thought it was well worth the trek for this double whammy mug. The mug of all mugs — big enough to pass off as a bowl but also has a handle. It’s like a dress that has pockets! Or finding a reversible jacket! You feel me on this?!

Earlier this week, I stuck the mug in the microwave, set it to 1 minute and 30 seconds — the recommended time to nuke oatmeal, according to the “Mama’s Best” brand label.

I promptly opened my spaceship-like microwave, which comes out like a drawer and I picked it up by the handle. Let me tell you, MAMA DID NOT KNOW BEST. Two senses were signaled first. Interestingly, it was not my sense of touch.

First, it was my ears. I heard a low hiss sound followed by a pop. Then my vision. I saw the white mug, scratched and chipped, now had a matching broken handle. Finally, my sense of touch decided to kick in. I screamed and let off the half broken handle.

f-u, mug

My kids were on FaceTime with their dad, who was away on a business trip. I was in pain, nursing this finger in shock, watching the skin start to web and cinch up. Burn pain comes in waves.

I replayed that audible experience in my head, in shock at how it happened so fast. The hiss sound was either the ceramic expanding in preparation for its break or it singing my flesh. Either way, everyone heard my thoughts on the topic, whether they liked it or not.

“Mama is saying a lot of bad words,” one of my kids says to my husband.

That’s right I was. I said all of them. A few of these words, I said twice! And I’m not sorry, it really hurt!

My pointer was throbbing but I put my big girl pants on, slapped on cocoa butter, wrapped it up and headed out the door. As I drove my kids to school, I was ready to nix the day’s plans. Cancel yoga, writing, podcast admin, clean the kitchen (I didn’t want to do that anyway), and dinner plans with friends and their kids.

But I decided to push through the pain and live out my day. I went to yoga 45 minutes after the burn incident because I’m a badass who wiped away my tears and stopped cussing.

During a moment in yoga class, I noticed the blanket I picked from the pile of complementary blankets provided by the studio. The stripes were black and gray and mostly orange. The same exact shade of orange as my obnoxious bandage. Both of these were not picked consciously. The first available in the pile; the unlikely pair met their match. The bandage and the blanket.

It gave me a teeny bit of joy seeing them together.

“Meanwhile the sunsets are mad orange fools raging in the gloom ... ”

— Jack Kerouac

Treat yourself with noticing the small stuff. Do tiny things that make you happy. We don’t have to wait for the big momentous stuff to give us the good feelings.

These are examples I’ve noticed or acted on recently that are, in the grand scheme of things, small treats with big rewards.

• Write down quotes that you come across. Better if cheesy. Good if inspirational. Best if you sticky note it near your thinking- and working-space.

• Do the activity your kid asks you to do with them that is childish and you definitely don’t want to do/have time for/patience for… but do it anyway. Like draw (a really bad picture), or play hide and seek, pretend to be a cat.

• When you drop a piece of food on the floor celebrate when it looks clean enough to eat.

• Call someone on the phone. Do not confuse it with a text, WhatsApp message, or a DM. Call them, hear and enjoy the vibrational connection of each other’s voices running through your ears and bodies.

• Bake cookies for someone you don’t really interact with often but you know they’d appreciate the gesture.

• Be fine with dirt, clutter, good hygiene if that means you can be lazy and not deal with life for a hot minute. I dropped a beloved glass water bottle while I was zoning out on my phone and left the shattered glass on the floor for at least 2 hours because I didn’t feel like cleaning it up.

• Get into a really good book. Ask your friends and family for recommendations on books they could not put down. To clarify, when you ask, ask for that one book that left them feeling like they just binged a really good TV series, so good that when it ended, it left them feeling lost and aimless. You want that type of book recommendation, not just a “oh, I really liked this book.” I just finished one and I could not put it down. It was more than 500 pages and I was hooked. The topic was hard but it was such incredible writing and reporting that it made me feel inspired. I’m still processing the book and I feel a fire inside to do something for my community, with my community — not sure what, yet. This is the epitome of feeling alive, being passionate. The opportunities are out there and I’m lookin’.

• Feel good with the art and work itself, without the worry of gaining subscribers, followers or an audience. I have spent time off the Substack app completely, which means I haven’t scrolled through Notes and haven’t taken the time to read other people’s work or participate in the community. I feel guilt for this but I feel good about my decision to listen to how I genuinely feel. Right now, I enjoy just writing. Maybe later, I’ll come back and participate in this lovely writer community.

• Watch this episode of Parks and Recreation, where you can research a more expensive approach to treating yourself.

quotes on sticky notes

didn’t feel like making masterpieces with my kids but I did

lactation cookies for a neighbor with a newborn

broke and left here for hours, nbd