I’ve missed your voice here. So glad you are back to writing.
There is such power in the pause. I’m working on this, too. My mind is so noisy already so when I saturate it with outside chatter/opinions/feeds, it gets all snarled up.
Just yesterday my therapist reminded me of the quote/saying: “Don’t do something, just stand there.” And if I expand this to don’t listen to something, just be there - I think I would benefit.
This essay is super helpful to me, particularly that image of the breakdown/impact of interoception. Thanks for sharing how this detox went for you. It sounds like it may have reset your factory settings. Something I need 🙃
I set an intention at the beginning of 2024 to have a digital detox every Sunday. One day a week to defrag and get off my phone /off line. I last I think 5 weeks. It was so much harder than I imagined. Clearly, I have things to look at here.
I love what your therapist said and I also love your additional interpretation! You know, I was cautious about writing this piece because I have the privilege of not having to work right now. In my PR days, I was always always always on my phone and needed to be and if I didn't need to be I was so used to being on it, I felt like I needed to look to feel ok. That's so messed up! Don't beat yourself up on not going through with your Sunday detoxes, it's very hard to always be on and then expect your mind to cut cold turkey one day and then you jump right back into the stimulus vortex again the next day. Truly, I don't know if I could have done this sort of "cleanse" while working. Now that school is back in session there's so much communication from parents and faculty and all the activities and I'm finding myself gravitating toward my phone again and it worries me. How the heck are we supposed to get a break??!?!
I have no skills in this -- except hunger and thirst. I wonder, too, how gendered this is. I think I was socialized not to notice anything I needed so I could attend to what other people need. Interesting to ponder. I hope you keep taking care of yourself.
Wow, yes, now you're making me wonder how gendered this is, too. How many women and mothers abandon themselves to tend to others? Thank you, Mary. I'm trying very hard to listen to my body. Still very cautious about the internet and my phone and especially typing here on substack.
Wow, okay. This was interesting, and also welcome back? But also also, totally cool for you to take more time away, whatever you need. I think we all need breaks from the scrolling, and we know this but rather than stop, we maybe shave 10 minutes off before going to bed. I found the 'cognition' part of the interoception chart to be fascinating as as I struggle with attention, decision making and time perception but feel strongly and in tune with my intuition and safety awareness. Is that a mom thing, you think? I overthink most of those things but when it comes down to it, my brain fogs up on a select few. You've definitely left me with something to think about..
It's so interesting you talk about intuition because I've noticed those abilities a lot more this summer too, realizing that my intuition is strong and I have been ignoring it a lot over the past many years. I've also been doing more work on finding out my personality type and that I'm an empath and these discoveries are also proof that my makeup is not made for the constant stimulus of the Internet. It's no wonder I constantly go to a burnout point. I love that you feel strongly with intuition and safety awareness and those are def your mom powers!
Hi Julia! Thank you. It was, and I'm still cautiously back. I do think 2x a month posting might be the right cadence from me. I have been microdosing ketamine. I'll reach out to you in email with more info.
I can’t recall an intentional internet break that was extremely long, but I do remember when I stopped watching tv and stopped listening to the radio. Radio was 2000, the day I moved into my freshman dorm and heard Wendy Williams on the air in Philly lol. I’m from NY and couldn’t stand her. TV was a little after Katrina in 05. I haven’t really watched it the same since and of course now there’s streaming so I guess I consume that instead.
Oh yes, I forget that TV is a digital device because we hardly watch it! We ditched TV with channels or cable around the same time as you. I also don't really watch much TV, used to do it every night after the kids go to bed. Now I just read and sleep. I used to scroll and then go to sleep. My body and mind are really really craving not looking at screens anymore and I'm just trying to listen to it. But I love writing and sharing essays online. I need to find how to do this and have it work for me.
“Noticing what’s happening, and then voicing it, is a subtle change with big impact. Why didn’t I do this more before?”
I wonder if you didn’t do this more before because we all became hooked on technology and its invasiveness at a crucial point in our own development. I think technology is blocking our natural ability to either be aware or even form these neuropaths to help us recognize what we need.
You wrote it very well in this comment! This is such a good theory. I could see how technology is blocking how our bodies want to be or go and therefore we aren't acknowledging what's happening to us.
Since going to to yoga regularly, I notice holding my breath in so many situations of my life! Scrolling, looking at email, doing anything on my laptop or phone, driving, doing anything difficult, when I'm upset. Gah! The list goes on!
I cannot tell you how many times you have been in my thoughts and I'm just relieved to hear you are working through what must be a very difficult process. Stay kind to yourself, I care.
Hi Dona, it was so nice to see you in class yesterday. That was my nephew I brought with me! He told me he read this essay during dinner the other night and he said it gave him a lot to think about. That's a big win for me, especially coming from a 19 year old! I hope you're doing well and you enjoyed the summer. Still feels like summer!!!
I’ve missed your voice here. So glad you are back to writing.
There is such power in the pause. I’m working on this, too. My mind is so noisy already so when I saturate it with outside chatter/opinions/feeds, it gets all snarled up.
Just yesterday my therapist reminded me of the quote/saying: “Don’t do something, just stand there.” And if I expand this to don’t listen to something, just be there - I think I would benefit.
This essay is super helpful to me, particularly that image of the breakdown/impact of interoception. Thanks for sharing how this detox went for you. It sounds like it may have reset your factory settings. Something I need 🙃
I set an intention at the beginning of 2024 to have a digital detox every Sunday. One day a week to defrag and get off my phone /off line. I last I think 5 weeks. It was so much harder than I imagined. Clearly, I have things to look at here.
I love what your therapist said and I also love your additional interpretation! You know, I was cautious about writing this piece because I have the privilege of not having to work right now. In my PR days, I was always always always on my phone and needed to be and if I didn't need to be I was so used to being on it, I felt like I needed to look to feel ok. That's so messed up! Don't beat yourself up on not going through with your Sunday detoxes, it's very hard to always be on and then expect your mind to cut cold turkey one day and then you jump right back into the stimulus vortex again the next day. Truly, I don't know if I could have done this sort of "cleanse" while working. Now that school is back in session there's so much communication from parents and faculty and all the activities and I'm finding myself gravitating toward my phone again and it worries me. How the heck are we supposed to get a break??!?!
Such a good and valid point. The stimulus vortex come Monday morning. So true.
Thank you for this comment. It helps me.
I'm glad it helped you! Just being honest. And we both know you're trying!
I have no skills in this -- except hunger and thirst. I wonder, too, how gendered this is. I think I was socialized not to notice anything I needed so I could attend to what other people need. Interesting to ponder. I hope you keep taking care of yourself.
Wow, yes, now you're making me wonder how gendered this is, too. How many women and mothers abandon themselves to tend to others? Thank you, Mary. I'm trying very hard to listen to my body. Still very cautious about the internet and my phone and especially typing here on substack.
Wow, okay. This was interesting, and also welcome back? But also also, totally cool for you to take more time away, whatever you need. I think we all need breaks from the scrolling, and we know this but rather than stop, we maybe shave 10 minutes off before going to bed. I found the 'cognition' part of the interoception chart to be fascinating as as I struggle with attention, decision making and time perception but feel strongly and in tune with my intuition and safety awareness. Is that a mom thing, you think? I overthink most of those things but when it comes down to it, my brain fogs up on a select few. You've definitely left me with something to think about..
It's so interesting you talk about intuition because I've noticed those abilities a lot more this summer too, realizing that my intuition is strong and I have been ignoring it a lot over the past many years. I've also been doing more work on finding out my personality type and that I'm an empath and these discoveries are also proof that my makeup is not made for the constant stimulus of the Internet. It's no wonder I constantly go to a burnout point. I love that you feel strongly with intuition and safety awareness and those are def your mom powers!
Welcome back! Missed you, but so glad you got a refreshing break. ❤️
Hi Julia! Thank you. It was, and I'm still cautiously back. I do think 2x a month posting might be the right cadence from me. I have been microdosing ketamine. I'll reach out to you in email with more info.
That’s awesome.. hope that works well for you. ❤️Haha yeah I’m still trying to find the right cadence too. ;)
I can’t recall an intentional internet break that was extremely long, but I do remember when I stopped watching tv and stopped listening to the radio. Radio was 2000, the day I moved into my freshman dorm and heard Wendy Williams on the air in Philly lol. I’m from NY and couldn’t stand her. TV was a little after Katrina in 05. I haven’t really watched it the same since and of course now there’s streaming so I guess I consume that instead.
Oh yes, I forget that TV is a digital device because we hardly watch it! We ditched TV with channels or cable around the same time as you. I also don't really watch much TV, used to do it every night after the kids go to bed. Now I just read and sleep. I used to scroll and then go to sleep. My body and mind are really really craving not looking at screens anymore and I'm just trying to listen to it. But I love writing and sharing essays online. I need to find how to do this and have it work for me.
“Noticing what’s happening, and then voicing it, is a subtle change with big impact. Why didn’t I do this more before?”
I wonder if you didn’t do this more before because we all became hooked on technology and its invasiveness at a crucial point in our own development. I think technology is blocking our natural ability to either be aware or even form these neuropaths to help us recognize what we need.
You wrote it very well in this comment! This is such a good theory. I could see how technology is blocking how our bodies want to be or go and therefore we aren't acknowledging what's happening to us.
Thanks for sharing another great essay. Hope it reaches many peeps!!
I’ve been wondering why I hold my breath while scrolling….google prob knows why 🫠
Since going to to yoga regularly, I notice holding my breath in so many situations of my life! Scrolling, looking at email, doing anything on my laptop or phone, driving, doing anything difficult, when I'm upset. Gah! The list goes on!
I cannot tell you how many times you have been in my thoughts and I'm just relieved to hear you are working through what must be a very difficult process. Stay kind to yourself, I care.
Hi Dona, it was so nice to see you in class yesterday. That was my nephew I brought with me! He told me he read this essay during dinner the other night and he said it gave him a lot to think about. That's a big win for me, especially coming from a 19 year old! I hope you're doing well and you enjoyed the summer. Still feels like summer!!!