The glitz and glam life of a writer!!! + warning, this post is just a big ol' long rant + for anyone who hasn't seen growth, in any part of their life, as fast as they'd hoped
This was so fun and relatable. I also have 300 subscribers!!! 🤦🏻♀️😂 And the Substack vortex had me believe that I had to, no, NEEDED a consultation with Sarah Fay. And she was lovely but... let me tell you, after re-writing my own About Page 26+ times myself... that ain't it.
Seriously, though, I do believe that time is good. It takes time to clarify your thoughts, figure out your voice... I am glad that 300 people are listening to my throat-clearing as opposed to 3000.
Petya, this has me laughing. I’m just below 300 subscribers on Substack and some days I feel like I need to do all the things. Then, I kindly remind myself why I left other platforms and why I don’t want to find myself in those old thought patterns.
Stephanie, I found this on notes, and I so glad I did! <3
Lauren, it's also ok to do all the things you want to try! And it's super ok to not do a lot of them, too! I think some things work, some don't, and it's all good, part of the experience. I'm so glad you found me on notes! I just subscribed!
HIIIII! Yes to your last question. When do you want to hang out? :)
I also made a hero post, which was the trendy tactic for growth as well. Like the About page, it helped me better realize what I'm writing, who I'm writing for, etc. Growth is a tricky thing!!! My husband's company is going through the scaling issue. It's a great time to figure out what you really want!
OK ALSO I JUST SUBSCRIBED. Already loving your literary girlfriends bookshelf!!!!
SO MANY BUTTONS! You know what's funny? When I asked my teenage nephew what he thought middle aged is, I expected him to say 50-60. Then he said, well, your age. I was floored. Then I googled it and apparently the internet agrees!? Dang the internet!!!
Great post, thank you very much for sharing. I’ve been at it glacially for almost 9 years (pre- and during Substack). I’ve come to terms that I’ll never have gobs of subscribers. Much better for my sanity to go for an “active and engaged readership.”
Hi Mark, I agree. I also have to check in on my perception of "active and engaged readership" goal because I sometimes forget that people do read my work but don't comment or like but then when I see them in real life they tell me about how one piece I wrote months ago really resonated with them. That's the coolest feeling! Thank you for sharing that you've been at it for 9 years. I hope you celebrate your perseverance. That is an amazing milestone.
Hi Cheniece, thank you! I was worried while writing that it would be insensitive to someone else's experience of slower growth. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I am very grateful to all my paid subscribers. Writing this post made me appreciate this even more! Thank you for coming to comment :)
I love this piece Stephanie - thank you for normalising the slower growth. I've got nearly 100 subscribers and have been on here since May last year, but that actually feels huge to me after having a teeny tiny mailing list for so long. So I'm happy with that for now. I too worry about the buttons and it also takes me forever to write and edit my posts!! Often I'll write one, then I'll read it back, think it's crap then restart. Lots of draft posts waiting!! X
It truly makes me so happy when people relate to the button issue! It's the most ridiculous conversation and battle in my own head every single time. I stopped putting the buttons altogether. I'm not sure when. I just got tired of it and stopped. I honestly think maybe I just forgot?! I already put so much effort into writing the post I'm too tired to think of the stupid buttons!!! Here's to writing posts that take forever! I remember reading that someone takes a few hours (which I translated to 3-5 hours) to write their newsletter and I spent months questioning my speed of writing. WHY is comparison so invasive?!?!
Yes, also too tired to think of the stupid buttons too!! I think I'm going to leave them out from now too. Maybe we will get faster at writing as time goes on??! I hear you with the comparison too, I've realised I'm comparing myself to actual writers and authors which is not what I am, so of course my writing won't look like theirs or be as good as theirs. But even knowing that, the comparison of not being eloquent enough still trips me up x
Loved and needed this. Are we writing for ourselves or others, and how many others do we need to validate our writing? The guilt of not being paid and thinking of writing as achievement also hit me. I try to remember that I blog because it’s fun, but it’s easy to lose sight of that. Your writing made me think and made me laugh.
I also record my audio a loooot but decided that being unpolished is kinda my thing. I record sitting on the floor of my bedroom closet surrounded by laundry. So glam!
I love this comment so much!! Thank you for saying this. Someone told me my writing made them think and laugh!? That's a win! But you're right too... I write for myself too. It was pretty therapeutic to write it.
For audio - do you just do it in one go? That is impressive! OMG I would save so much time! I also use it as a tool to help me refine my writing. I can read my work aloud but once I hit record it's like there's a switch in my unconscious to read my work more critically. Is that weird?! Also because my writing style is "conversational" if it doesn't come out naturally when I say it, then I edit it.
Yes to audio in one go, mostly because I’m too newbie to know/do better. Once my piece is mostly finished, I read it aloud to myself, stopping along the way to refine and edit. You’re not weird for having that switch! That’s why I read it to myself when it’s like 80% done, to figure out where to add and cut. Then once it’s really done, I do a practice read aloud. Then I record the whole thing on a voice memo on my phone, using a wired earbud mic from the early aughts.
My finest recording moment was reading “idgaf” as “iowngiveafuck” in just the right tone, so yes to being a conversational audio person!
Yes to everything here! Also, nobody talks about the ongoing UNSUBSCRIBE… even as my subscriber count goes up, every week when I’m my email goes out, I get a flurry of unsubscribes… feels like I’m just yo-yoing up and down at the same spot. But I guess finding the people who truly enjoy and cherish your writing is what it’s all about ✨
Yes, hi Teresa! Oh my gosh, this topic leads me to another issue on my mind ... my stupid obsession for wanting everyone to like me. Why does it consume me?! Does it for you? How does it feel for you when you lose subscribers? I need to work on the issue of being liked because as I put myself out there, I'm going to get more unsubscribes, more comments from people that are annoying or mean (those are mostly related to my podcast). And you're right, it's about finding the right people. Just need to shut the inner voice telling me otherwise :)
Thank youuuuuu for this sincere and honest reflection! 300 is amazing, well done you! I aspire to that!! I’m relatively new here (as in I’m actually giving this a shot now) and posts like this are SO refreshing. More more more please & thank you!
Thank you, Emma! I wonder what it would be like if I started around now. Substack is a different place than it was when I started. I can imagine the way it is now, you can get sucked into the void and comparison trap much easier. Just do you!
I can relate to so much! Identity and worth crisis after finishing your job (where are you now with this?) and wondering how publications with larger readership have time to reply and respond to comments and notes etc.
When you got the boost from the post you did that got a lot of traction, was it busy busy and then did it slow down? Or is it still busy?
Hi Mika! You made me realize I pretty much made a hero post a year ago! You know what's sad?! I just looked at it and realized I accidentally put only PAID subs can comment and I didn't mean to! GRRR! https://stephaniecooley.substack.com/p/what-is-this. We should talk someday about my transition from my career, which I had since 2007. It's been 1.5 years now since I stopped working and I STILL have issues of self worth that I continue to try to unravel.
I did get a lot of traction with that one post. It has been pretty consistently busy since then. It lit something new in me to just write what feels good deep down inside. I have so many of those ideas that I had in my head and heart and now they're coming up and I'm excited to dive deeper. Here's my stats on that one post! 56% opened, 904 views, 18 new subs. Since then each post I've put up gains 2-5 subs, plus people came to look at my other pieces and subscribed from older ones, too.
Honestly, it felt sort of weird to type those stats publicly but now that I see people relate to this growth trajectory, I'm like SCREW IT! See my numbers! They're slow/moderate, depending on who you ask. And you know what? They are real!
Love that you’re really leaning into what feels good.
And hooray for telling your truth! I think it’s ingrained in us to be polite, humble and never boastful…so it feels odd when we celebrate our achievements publicly.
Yes, I would love to talk about the transition and self worth etc.
I haven’t yet read another “Subtack Growth” piece that so closely mirrors my own experience: THANK YOU for this realness! And thank you Joyce Wycoff for bringing it to my attention on notes!
Eeek that makes me so happy that my post closely mirrors your experience. Just over here doing all the things and sharing all the things I threw at the wall to see if it sticks!!!
@Stephanie Jucar Cooley Thank you for saving me from having to write this post ... you and @Carlos Greaves did it so well, I can now just say ditto. As the world moves into slow food and slow living, maybe we're just at the vanguard of slow growth?
Hi Joyce! And than you for sharing it! When Carlos wrote that piece, it lit up my day! And then I couldn't stop thinking about my own growth and all the things I've been thinking about over the last 2 years. Decided it was finally time to vomit all my thoughts into a post. I love the idea of this being another shift into the slow mindset! That's totally what it is!
"I ditched many nights of sleep in exchange for rewriting paragraphs under an arbitrary deadline I gave myself and no one cared if I missed."
This was all so relatable, but wow that line went straight to the heart for me. Thank you for the vulnerability here - made me feel a lot less alone today as I trudge through a similar journey.
Thank you for taking the time to comment and say this! It’s pretty sweet to see someone else repeat your words and say they relate. You are so not alone even though writing can feel lonesome!
I’ve thought a lot about this and my warring responses internally—I would love to have writing be a part of the way I make an income, but then again maybe I don’t? Would that ruin the experience? But if I did then, then maybe I could justify the time I spend on it and invest in growing the skill. But then again, I don’t want too many eyes on my stuff (to your point about enjoying being able to engage with ALL your readers at this point) because that may be too much for my sense of self and anxiety. Or maybe a part of me is just afraid to succeed. And then I melt away into nothingness. All in an instant 🫠🫠🫠
I have this exact same struggle! Sometimes I catch myself because I think the only way I can tell people I’m a writer is if I actually make money doing it which I absolutely do not! And I guess I like it too because I have no pressure to write to pay the bills. Haha you won’t melt away, promise! You’ll find a new part of you that didn’t know could be so cool with writing! I’m cheering you on! To just write and have a good time! Screw the $$$ 😜
This was so fun and relatable. I also have 300 subscribers!!! 🤦🏻♀️😂 And the Substack vortex had me believe that I had to, no, NEEDED a consultation with Sarah Fay. And she was lovely but... let me tell you, after re-writing my own About Page 26+ times myself... that ain't it.
Seriously, though, I do believe that time is good. It takes time to clarify your thoughts, figure out your voice... I am glad that 300 people are listening to my throat-clearing as opposed to 3000.
And, lastly, can we be friends?!
Petya, this has me laughing. I’m just below 300 subscribers on Substack and some days I feel like I need to do all the things. Then, I kindly remind myself why I left other platforms and why I don’t want to find myself in those old thought patterns.
Stephanie, I found this on notes, and I so glad I did! <3
Lauren, it's also ok to do all the things you want to try! And it's super ok to not do a lot of them, too! I think some things work, some don't, and it's all good, part of the experience. I'm so glad you found me on notes! I just subscribed!
I totally agree with this! I try the things that excite me and leave the rest <3
HIIIII! Yes to your last question. When do you want to hang out? :)
I also made a hero post, which was the trendy tactic for growth as well. Like the About page, it helped me better realize what I'm writing, who I'm writing for, etc. Growth is a tricky thing!!! My husband's company is going through the scaling issue. It's a great time to figure out what you really want!
OK ALSO I JUST SUBSCRIBED. Already loving your literary girlfriends bookshelf!!!!
Love the comment about the "buttons"! And you are hardly middle age...I think that got moved up to 60!
SO MANY BUTTONS! You know what's funny? When I asked my teenage nephew what he thought middle aged is, I expected him to say 50-60. Then he said, well, your age. I was floored. Then I googled it and apparently the internet agrees!? Dang the internet!!!
Me too! I nearly spit out my coffee at that button comment. 🤣
Great post, thank you very much for sharing. I’ve been at it glacially for almost 9 years (pre- and during Substack). I’ve come to terms that I’ll never have gobs of subscribers. Much better for my sanity to go for an “active and engaged readership.”
Hi Mark, I agree. I also have to check in on my perception of "active and engaged readership" goal because I sometimes forget that people do read my work but don't comment or like but then when I see them in real life they tell me about how one piece I wrote months ago really resonated with them. That's the coolest feeling! Thank you for sharing that you've been at it for 9 years. I hope you celebrate your perseverance. That is an amazing milestone.
I'm hoping for your glacial growth! And paid subscribers?! You go, you!
Hi Cheniece, thank you! I was worried while writing that it would be insensitive to someone else's experience of slower growth. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I am very grateful to all my paid subscribers. Writing this post made me appreciate this even more! Thank you for coming to comment :)
Consider me empowered, never offended! Anytime
Great to hear about your journey Stephanie and keep going!
Hi Sian! Thank you. I just realized I hadn't seen your work in awhile! Are you still writing? Are you still running?
I haven’t written for a few months- would like to get back to it at some point. But am still running and enjoying it 😊
I love this piece Stephanie - thank you for normalising the slower growth. I've got nearly 100 subscribers and have been on here since May last year, but that actually feels huge to me after having a teeny tiny mailing list for so long. So I'm happy with that for now. I too worry about the buttons and it also takes me forever to write and edit my posts!! Often I'll write one, then I'll read it back, think it's crap then restart. Lots of draft posts waiting!! X
It truly makes me so happy when people relate to the button issue! It's the most ridiculous conversation and battle in my own head every single time. I stopped putting the buttons altogether. I'm not sure when. I just got tired of it and stopped. I honestly think maybe I just forgot?! I already put so much effort into writing the post I'm too tired to think of the stupid buttons!!! Here's to writing posts that take forever! I remember reading that someone takes a few hours (which I translated to 3-5 hours) to write their newsletter and I spent months questioning my speed of writing. WHY is comparison so invasive?!?!
Yes, also too tired to think of the stupid buttons too!! I think I'm going to leave them out from now too. Maybe we will get faster at writing as time goes on??! I hear you with the comparison too, I've realised I'm comparing myself to actual writers and authors which is not what I am, so of course my writing won't look like theirs or be as good as theirs. But even knowing that, the comparison of not being eloquent enough still trips me up x
Loved and needed this. Are we writing for ourselves or others, and how many others do we need to validate our writing? The guilt of not being paid and thinking of writing as achievement also hit me. I try to remember that I blog because it’s fun, but it’s easy to lose sight of that. Your writing made me think and made me laugh.
I also record my audio a loooot but decided that being unpolished is kinda my thing. I record sitting on the floor of my bedroom closet surrounded by laundry. So glam!
I love this comment so much!! Thank you for saying this. Someone told me my writing made them think and laugh!? That's a win! But you're right too... I write for myself too. It was pretty therapeutic to write it.
For audio - do you just do it in one go? That is impressive! OMG I would save so much time! I also use it as a tool to help me refine my writing. I can read my work aloud but once I hit record it's like there's a switch in my unconscious to read my work more critically. Is that weird?! Also because my writing style is "conversational" if it doesn't come out naturally when I say it, then I edit it.
Yes to audio in one go, mostly because I’m too newbie to know/do better. Once my piece is mostly finished, I read it aloud to myself, stopping along the way to refine and edit. You’re not weird for having that switch! That’s why I read it to myself when it’s like 80% done, to figure out where to add and cut. Then once it’s really done, I do a practice read aloud. Then I record the whole thing on a voice memo on my phone, using a wired earbud mic from the early aughts.
My finest recording moment was reading “idgaf” as “iowngiveafuck” in just the right tone, so yes to being a conversational audio person!
Love this! Resonates so hard it nearly shook me out of my chair 😄
WOW that is so amazing, thank you, Belinda. Thank you for saying this! I'm glad we are not alone in all these feelings I've had inside for 2 years.
Yes to everything here! Also, nobody talks about the ongoing UNSUBSCRIBE… even as my subscriber count goes up, every week when I’m my email goes out, I get a flurry of unsubscribes… feels like I’m just yo-yoing up and down at the same spot. But I guess finding the people who truly enjoy and cherish your writing is what it’s all about ✨
Yes, hi Teresa! Oh my gosh, this topic leads me to another issue on my mind ... my stupid obsession for wanting everyone to like me. Why does it consume me?! Does it for you? How does it feel for you when you lose subscribers? I need to work on the issue of being liked because as I put myself out there, I'm going to get more unsubscribes, more comments from people that are annoying or mean (those are mostly related to my podcast). And you're right, it's about finding the right people. Just need to shut the inner voice telling me otherwise :)
♥️ from fellow glacial paced newsletter writer
Here's to us, tortoises and snails!
Thank youuuuuu for this sincere and honest reflection! 300 is amazing, well done you! I aspire to that!! I’m relatively new here (as in I’m actually giving this a shot now) and posts like this are SO refreshing. More more more please & thank you!
Thank you, Emma! I wonder what it would be like if I started around now. Substack is a different place than it was when I started. I can imagine the way it is now, you can get sucked into the void and comparison trap much easier. Just do you!
I can relate to so much! Identity and worth crisis after finishing your job (where are you now with this?) and wondering how publications with larger readership have time to reply and respond to comments and notes etc.
When you got the boost from the post you did that got a lot of traction, was it busy busy and then did it slow down? Or is it still busy?
Hi Mika! You made me realize I pretty much made a hero post a year ago! You know what's sad?! I just looked at it and realized I accidentally put only PAID subs can comment and I didn't mean to! GRRR! https://stephaniecooley.substack.com/p/what-is-this. We should talk someday about my transition from my career, which I had since 2007. It's been 1.5 years now since I stopped working and I STILL have issues of self worth that I continue to try to unravel.
I did get a lot of traction with that one post. It has been pretty consistently busy since then. It lit something new in me to just write what feels good deep down inside. I have so many of those ideas that I had in my head and heart and now they're coming up and I'm excited to dive deeper. Here's my stats on that one post! 56% opened, 904 views, 18 new subs. Since then each post I've put up gains 2-5 subs, plus people came to look at my other pieces and subscribed from older ones, too.
Honestly, it felt sort of weird to type those stats publicly but now that I see people relate to this growth trajectory, I'm like SCREW IT! See my numbers! They're slow/moderate, depending on who you ask. And you know what? They are real!
Love that you’re really leaning into what feels good.
And hooray for telling your truth! I think it’s ingrained in us to be polite, humble and never boastful…so it feels odd when we celebrate our achievements publicly.
Yes, I would love to talk about the transition and self worth etc.
I was talking to a newer friend about career and self worth and money today and I thought of you!
Maybe we need a club! 😁
I haven’t yet read another “Subtack Growth” piece that so closely mirrors my own experience: THANK YOU for this realness! And thank you Joyce Wycoff for bringing it to my attention on notes!
Eeek that makes me so happy that my post closely mirrors your experience. Just over here doing all the things and sharing all the things I threw at the wall to see if it sticks!!!
@Stephanie Jucar Cooley Thank you for saving me from having to write this post ... you and @Carlos Greaves did it so well, I can now just say ditto. As the world moves into slow food and slow living, maybe we're just at the vanguard of slow growth?
Hi Joyce! And than you for sharing it! When Carlos wrote that piece, it lit up my day! And then I couldn't stop thinking about my own growth and all the things I've been thinking about over the last 2 years. Decided it was finally time to vomit all my thoughts into a post. I love the idea of this being another shift into the slow mindset! That's totally what it is!
"I ditched many nights of sleep in exchange for rewriting paragraphs under an arbitrary deadline I gave myself and no one cared if I missed."
This was all so relatable, but wow that line went straight to the heart for me. Thank you for the vulnerability here - made me feel a lot less alone today as I trudge through a similar journey.
Thank you for taking the time to comment and say this! It’s pretty sweet to see someone else repeat your words and say they relate. You are so not alone even though writing can feel lonesome!
Your title had me giggling from the jump.
I’ve thought a lot about this and my warring responses internally—I would love to have writing be a part of the way I make an income, but then again maybe I don’t? Would that ruin the experience? But if I did then, then maybe I could justify the time I spend on it and invest in growing the skill. But then again, I don’t want too many eyes on my stuff (to your point about enjoying being able to engage with ALL your readers at this point) because that may be too much for my sense of self and anxiety. Or maybe a part of me is just afraid to succeed. And then I melt away into nothingness. All in an instant 🫠🫠🫠
I have this exact same struggle! Sometimes I catch myself because I think the only way I can tell people I’m a writer is if I actually make money doing it which I absolutely do not! And I guess I like it too because I have no pressure to write to pay the bills. Haha you won’t melt away, promise! You’ll find a new part of you that didn’t know could be so cool with writing! I’m cheering you on! To just write and have a good time! Screw the $$$ 😜