How to get dressed for "success"

Fashion formulas, dopamine dressing, mom jeans and more ways to think of how we clothe ourselves

The pics featured here are from my Instagram, you can find these and more in my “fit check” highlights. Follow me! I’m having loads of fun sharing my clothes and commentary that might make you laugh.

How I dress “fancy” nowadays, notice the nonexistent heels

As a 40-year-old, it’s funny and appalling to see the Y2K fashion trends come back to haunt us. I chuckle watching Gen Z rock the trendy stuff we wore back when we listened to Britney on our iPods. It’s giving me all the nostalgia and I’m not mad about it.

Don’t hate me, I do hold a special place in my heart for the controversial low rise jeans even though I would not put those devil pants on today. I prefer to let this belly hang where it wants after lunch. But I’m pretty sure my 2001 ultra-low rise Volcom pants and red crochet halter top helped me snag my college boyfriend, now husband.

Who says fashion is useless?

It’s a cheap shot to claim fashion and personal style are frivolous in a world filled with strife and real problems. Perhaps it’s the exact reason why some of us are drawn to the art of putting on clothes. We have a chance of a little levity in our lives by way of donning a few pieces of clothing and accessories. In a world so serious, let’s enjoy snippets of our day, like when we get dressed.

To some, it’s simply wearing textiles on our bodies to cover up our skin. For others, it can be a meaningful ritual. Creating and curating style can be akin to medicine and beautiful self-expression.

Like making your bed, it can set the tone for the day. For me, it can be my day’s one artistic moment. Styling myself can embody how I want to feel or currently feel. As I sift through the textures in my closet, I visualize the events I’m about to embark, which is likely a workout class followed by sitting down to write or walk or do something with my kids. If I’m feeling up to it, it should evoke fun (a.k.a. dopamine dressing), a little humor, or some sort of pizazz.

Here’s how I get dressed for success. In my realm it means simply getting dressed so I feel good in my body and mind.

1. Embrace color. Look, I love black. For many, it is our friend because it’s versatile, easy to match and, personally as a mom of two young kids, I’m guaranteed to get spilled on and stained. Black is like wearing a magic eraser without doing any work. However, lately, black has taken more of a backseat in my closet.

   I am Filipino with deep brown skin. It took me many years to feel beautiful in my brownness and part of this acceptance was embracing bold bright colors as they sit against my melanin-filled skin. Jewel tones, reds and brighter greens and blues, heck, neon is even a wonderful contrast to my skin. What looks good on your skin tone?

   

2. Might as well embrace prints while we’re at it. I spilled coffee on a jacket with a very busy print and you wouldn’t notice it unless you smelled my medium-roast-with-cream-and-sugar sleeve. Proof that patterned clothing is a cure to carelessness. I’m drawn toward prints that give interest, which means plaids and stripes, also unusual shapes, images and abstract patterns.

   

   This print is naked ladies embracing the third eye.

3. Wear clothes that are secondhand, handmade, well-made. Fast fashion sucks and it’s an example of why our world is broken. But it also shed awareness on what we’re putting on our bodies and who we’re buying them from. Thrifting and second-hand clothes are trendy.

   My mom sewed clothes to make money when she first arrived in the United States so I also have an eye for for well made and handmade clothes. I love Poshmark, Etsy and ThredUp. I have bought too many vintage shirts from The Captain’s Vintage, own several Re/Done jeans (pricier reconstructed Levi’s that are each unique), and shop from local vintage and consignment stores in North San Diego (Captain’s Helm, Sea Hive).

   1. Outfit repeating is a must. Let’s normalize this.

   2. It’s a gem to find smaller creators who sew, quilt scraps of textiles together, or reconstruct clothing to create something new. The selection is endless on Etsy, like this woman’s amazing quilted jackets.

   3. Practicality is key for me. I need to wash and dry my clothes so if something is dry clean only, I either wear it dirty or I don’t buy it. Natural fibers like cotton, linen and wool are my go-to fabrics. Polyester tends to make me sweaty and stinky.

   

4. Comfort is stylish. When shopping for my wedding dress I tried gorgeous body-fitting and corset tightened dresses. For the first time, I saw my small chest hoisted up with underwire. These gowns looked very flattering on me but I rejected them. Even with pleas from my sisters to reconsider, I couldn’t bring myself to choose them because they were uncomfortable. I know of the mantra: beauty is pain. But screw that. If I was going to drop hundreds of dollars on a dress for a milestone day, I was determined to find something that was beautiful and comfortable.

   For me, confidence is one of the most attractive features someone can hold. If I’m not comfortable, I’m not confident, and you’ll see it. I do not have good poker face.

   1. This also means stretchy pants, sweats, athleisure are fine by me. Some frown upon those who look “sloppy” outside the home but what if that’s what feels good on our bodies? Sometimes when I wear my yoga outfit outside, I throw something interesting over it — like a quirky or “loud” sweater to offset what would otherwise might be a boring outfit.

   2. I want to see and consume the practical stuff when it comes to fashion. I love influencers who provide ideas on how to create outfits with what we already have. How to rethink how you wear your clothes you never reach for anymore. For those of you who haven’t burned your skinny jeans yet, Emily Wheatley shares how to style them to make them more “current.”

   Can we also not take fashion too seriously? I don’t really gravitate toward fashion and style influencers that dress inaccessible for everyday wear. If I can’t wear it to dinner and go on a walk afterward, I’m not really into it.

   I recently chucked most of my high heels for this reason.

   

5. Stop caring what my husband thinks. Remember how I said an outfit probably helped me snag a boyfriend? 18-year-old me also didn’t feel the same in my skin as I do today. We have a running joke around here.

   

   When I get dressed and my husband lovingly makes fun of my outfit, I know I’ll get several compliments on it in the wild, typically from other women during school drop off or while out getting a coffee, basically my social life. He also makes fun of my mom jeans (while a loving tap on my booty) but he actually does enjoy my style and I don’t think it has anything to do with what I’m wearing, it’s about how I’m wearing it. Remember the confidence I wrote about earlier?

   1. Also, I still do care what my husband thinks. When we go on a date, for example, I wear clothing I know he’s drawn to. He loves when I wear florals and overalls, not necessarily together. And I think he’s right, I look and feel cute in both.

   2. I love a masculine outfit and genderless fashion.

As a creature of habit, I do gravitate toward certain clothing themes. In no particular order, here’s what may be included in my fashion formula: patterned pants, vintage tees, cozy sweaters, old blazers, stripes, brightly colored flannels, clogs, high tops, comfortable boots, funky jackets.

I love and follow these fashionistas on Instagram: Imperfectidealist, yesconnieishere, emily_ann_living, rachaelrenae.

And these are so worth the read and views on Substack:

What do moms really wear with Sunny Shokrae

I'M HERE FOR DOPAMINE LIVING

The creative act of dressing ourselves

Disclaimer: I’m not a fashion wizard, with zero degrees in the industry, and negative experience in style, fashion, or anything similar. I am simply someone who consciously gets dressed and loves to have fun with it.

Let me know if you’d like to see more clothes content from me!