My 7 weird winter wellness routines
Permission to embrace unpopular rituals + a fun teaser video of my day
Have you noticed all the influencers out in the wild this winter smothering us with their wellness routines? In all the right angles, they’re showing me perfect moodiness, lit candles, chunky wool sweaters, and the auditory bliss of pouring coffee in an artisan-made ceramic cup. I’m here for it, slurping all this content. But I found myself simultaneously stuck in the comparison trap.
No, I’m not here to tell you about the aesthetically pleasing rituals that we’ve seen already and make us feel like slobs on our phones. My list doesn’t include exercise before sunrise, meditate before work, practice slow living, eat plant-based soups, and invest in green drinks for immunity.
What you can expect here is my weird wellness routines. To some, what I do may be considered odd, lazy, maybe even gross. But I think the thread in all my rituals is a good old fashioned f-you to all the social media-pleasing wellness routines that I THINK I should be doing but don’t want to.
Warning. This post might be TMI. If you’re into that sort of stuff, continue on :)
1. I don’t make my bed. I wake around 5 a.m. for 50 percent of the week and I make my bed for 2 percent of the week. (Is this how math works?).
For a long time, I tried to make my bed consistently and felt like I needed to because all the studies say it’s good for you but I gave myself the gift of a hard pass on this one. I imagine my military father screaming in horror from wherever he’s at in the afterlife. Sorry, Dad!
2. I participate in low expectation journaling. I used to do Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages, thanks to the brilliant writer
. It involves writing 3 full pages, stream of consciousness, every single morning. I saw all the benefits of this journaling practice — mentally, emotionally, and creatively. And then, eventually, I stopped. I think I simply got tired of it. And I’m OK with that decision right now. I use my journal nowadays as a catch-all. The neon-green notebook is always with me and some days I write a couple pages of thoughts. Other days I write a mix of things: a grocery list, a reminder to do something later, a quote, or a doodle. At the very least, I write one sentence a day. It doesn’t matter how long the entry, putting hand to pen to paper once a day is a good day.3. I prefer to guzzle warm or room temperature water. To some, this is akin to eating a dry and bland piece of bread — or committing a felony. It’s a crime my husband has accused me of when he took a swig from my water bottle on a hot day. Sorry, Gabe!
I cannot stand cold water. Don’t even get me started with ice water. To me, warm water is easier to drink and I don’t understand why there isn’t a warm water movement already. Who else is with me?! We need to start a H2O revolution! In fact, many cultures around the world highly regard the practice of drinking warm or hot water, which is supposed to aid in digestion, better hydrate you, and foster good health.
4. When it’s cold out, it’s the perfect time to focus on self-care down there. This might be where some of you stop reading this post.
I make a simmering hot tea mix and steam my lady parts. A centuries-old practice, it is believed to help cleanse, detox, relieve cramps and stress, and more. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s truly aiding in any of these. And if it’s the placebo effect, I’m good with that. It’s a nice excuse to get warm, relax and have a moment to myself in the morning. If you’re intrigued, you can watch my friends and I talk about V-self care on my pod, here.
5. I might have gross grooming habits and I don’t care. It works for me. If you didn’t leave after the last point, you might with this one. When I shower, I don’t typically soap my body except for my privates and pits. Soap dries out my skin and I prefer how my skin feels with a warm water rinse. For me, less is more and I have soft skin to prove it. I also brush my hair maybe a couple times a week, max. If this bothers you, no problem. I think my hair is pretty rad.
6. I subscribe to the Irish exit. I went to 3 social gatherings last week, which is a lot for me. For two of them, I hit my social bar and deeply felt it. I was so over being there. It had nothing to do with the company and was completely my own need to GTFO. As I’ve gotten older, I’m better attuned to how I feel in social situations. When I’m tired, overstimulated, or just don’t feel like talking or hanging out anymore… I’m out. Obviously, it’s easier to do this when I’m solo.
I say goodbye to the host and leave. I do not make any rounds to say bye to others. I’d rather wash dishes than subject myself to a long and drawn out farewell. To avoid making contact with others and risk the 20-minute (or more!) goodbye, I simply leave and don’t look back and I head home in a chipper mood. Is this the definition of “leaving on a high note”? I think so!
7. I try to do as little as I can for Christmas. Elf on the Shelf is so fun and I love seeing the creativity of friends who do it. The advent calendar is a great way for kids to get excited before the big day. Baking holiday cookies is such a lovely gesture. So are the mass mail holiday cards of families showing photos of themselves in their Sunday best.
I appreciate all of these AND I do not do them because it’s more shit for me to do. However, I have worked with my kids on choosing and making simple gifts. The way I see it, I decided to focus on the giving aspect. See? I’m not that Grinchy, right?! As for the decor, we have a couple of bins of Christmas decorations and, for the last 2 years, I let my kids have at it on the Christmas tree and mantle. I didn’t put up a single piece of Xmas decor and I love it. It’s one heck of a long shot but check back in a month to see if I win as mother of the year for getting my kids to put the decor away without me lifting a finger.
What are your weird wellness routines? I’d love to hear from you!
Substack Reads: Rising Writers
This is a play on Substack Reads — a curated list of Substack articles I enjoy. My version includes authors with smaller subscriber numbers (in the hundreds).
I can’t believe I haven’t featured
on this list yet! I’ve been following her for awhile now and she never disappoints with publishing meaningful work. You can get a good dose of honesty and vulnerability in her writing, where she explores a mix of topics, including intergenerational trauma and the journey of writing a memoir. Her piece on discussing mental health vs. mental illness as a society was powerful and I highly recommend everyone read it. is a writer with beautiful words to share with the world. She’s a mom who homeschools her kids and somehow she has time to write meaningful work, photograph amazing pictures, and it looks like she might have a podcast out next year. I love seeing moms who are multi-faceted and share their art. I especially loved her piece this week on understanding your intentions during the winter holidays.
What I was going to comment was #4! Perimenopausal discomfort of a UTI but not a UTI. Sooo much fun! I have never heard of this, but might have to try it.
I love making myself cups of tea and coffee that I never drink /finish. It drives my boyfriend mad but I just like the concept of having a potential cup of tea close by in case the need for me to drink it strikes 🤣