Slow and low, that is the tempo
Slow and low, that is the tempo
how I learned to live a slow(er) life with the help of Waldorf, an education curriculum *this essay isn't just for parents* + a video of my chickens and garden
When people ask me and my husband about the school in which we send our children, we begin with a smirk, followed by stating two details:
1. It’s a hippie school, and
2. the teachers wear bonnets.
We are met with a pause and a face of confusion. Are you, too, wondering if this is true?
Read along and we can explore the answer.
Our kids attend a1Waldorf school. Often criticized for not focusing on the academics early enough, it is an education philosophy meant to teach and care for the child in a holistic way. Yes, my kids learn reading, writing, math and science. Their pre-school and elementary school also focus on arts, imagination, nature, and practical life skills, all without using phones and computers.
When our first-born was 2, we chose the preschool purely because of the proximity to our house. Not knowing much about the curriculum, we loved how sweet and beautiful the school was, which felt like an extension of home. Over the 7 years we’ve been going to Waldorf schools, my children are flourishing.
But enough about them.
I did not expect my kids’ school to teach me a valuable lesson.
Slow down.
In a rushed life, where I’m bombarded with screens, default behind a desk, juggle multiple deadlines, rush from one activity to the next, this school’s curriculum was a stark contrast to my personal life.
Practically a prototype to slow living, Waldorf is rooted in nature and the appreciation of Earth. It’s a no-media school and they encourage families to keep screen consumption minimal (or none at all) at home. Well-made toys and fairy tales leave room for imagination and creative play. Younger kids participate in “household” duties and build gardens. The curriculum fosters kids to work with their hands and learn to knit, sew, write in cursive, and play instruments.
I’ll be honest. I lightly poke fun at it. It can bring on the image of a backwoods commune, a cultish sister-wives kind of vibe. Did you picture ladies in bonnets yet?
By the way, the teachers don’t actually don bonnets but they do often wear aprons. The kindergarten class make bread and soup that most kids, even the pickiest ones, will eat.
At this education system’s core, I love how it peels back the modern layers and teaches the basics again.
I was inspired. With years of observation I slowly incorporated a few changes in my life. All of these exercises didn’t feel natural at first and I still feel a pull to revert back the faster, quicker, “easier” option. It’s uncomfortable and my systems are not perfect.
I’m not sugar coating it for you. Learning to live slower sucks at first.
I go outside and take a walk everyday. In the last few months, I added another layer, a game-changing tweak. I leave my phone at home.
It allows me to move with my thoughts without distractions. It’s just me and my mind. Sometimes I close my eyes or gaze down and meditate while walking or I simply observe my neighborhood and the trees. Some of the best writing ideas have come to me in my phone-free walks.
When I first started, I yearned for my phone 100 percent of the time. It took several weeks, plus a few slip ups here and there. But when I pushed through the discomfort, I started to crave this “me time.” I now look forward to leaving my phone home during my daily stroll.
Real talk though. I still yearn for it 20 percent of the time. See! It’s not perfect!
Have you tried writing with a pen/pencil and paper? When I decided to make it a daily practice to write — by hand — my handwriting was absolute trash. On top of that, when I started to write in a journal instead of type, I was frustrated at how my hands could not keep up with my thoughts. And that’s the beauty of journaling.
Writing by hand has streamlined my ideas, thoughts, feelings, and emotions, which can feel like a tornado. But the slowness of handwriting somehow alleviates the fast-paced scatterbrain, even though what’s on the page still looks like scribble. Journaling can make the winds die down and I typically end up finishing each journal entry feeling like a light breeze.
To make this exercise harder, try writing 3 full pages each morning for a month. I’ll give you 100 bucks, no questions asked, if it hasn’t benefited you in some way. (That’s a 8.5”x11” page or 210x297mm, for my UK readers!)
Once upon a time it was hard for me to read a book because I kept longing for the quick-hit device in front of me. I went to great lengths to shut down the impulse.
Knowing this was a problem, I often placed my phone in another room, or shut it off. If I couldn’t concentrate on reading my book, I’d scoop up my kids and read them a chapter book aloud so I can be in the moment. If that wasn’t possible, I simply walked away from the book and kept the phone where it was. I was hardcore to ditch the addiction, focused on not letting the distractor device get me.
Now, I read multiple books at once, can digest them and enjoy them, and crave them.
Slowness is also when we cook and eat at home, at the dinner table, together. My husband gardens with the kids, the ultimate practice in patience and living in the now. My kids are often bored but then figure out something to do because they typically don’t have the option to consume a screen… Also, if you were curious how extreme we are, my kids totally watch TV and movies in moderation.
How do we have time for all the slow living? Maybe it’s because my husband and I generally read rather than watch TV or movies anymore. It definitely helps that we have full-time help with our children. I’m also choosy with committing to activities and social invites. I’ve also largely stopped scrolling through social media to slow my brain down.
Regardless of privilege, I believe most people can explore at least one aspect of slowness in their life. It can be as simple as moving through your morning with intention, noticing the sounds when you open your window, or silently sitting with the warmth of a cup of coffee in your palms.
If you’re interested in slowing things down, do one thing at a time. Remember, it’s called slow living so any rush to get it done completely defeats the purpose, am I right?
It may not be easy but once you get there, you may enjoy the moment.
“Let it flow, let yourself go, slow and low, that is the tempo.”
Beastie Boys, “Slow and Low.” License to Ill, Def Jam and Columbia Records, 1986.
If you’re interested in slow living, I subscribe to and recommend these reads and writers.
This is not about Waldorf but I wanted to share it because it makes a case for a phone-free school, which I am looking into as my children will someday enter middle and high school, when more of their peers will have their own phones.
And, lastly, a teacher’s interesting perspective on Waldorf.
With a simple google search, you will find controversies around Waldorf but it deflects from the point of this essay. I’m not a crazy fanatic or a die-hard at subscribing to any one thing. Really, I feel like we are a normal-ish family, two typical millennial parents trying to give our kids the opportunity to be who they are. This NY Times article is a good summary of the education method and all its layers of good, bad and controversy.
Increasingly I am trying to be conscious of how often I reach for my phone and trying to curb that impulse. Waiting in queues, or those odd moments of time I am trying to let myself just daydream or be a little bit bored just because I think I have got into the habit of always having something to do/see/think about.
This is a great post! I know I tease you about this school, but truly, I love how intentional everything is. CJ’s penmanship is better than her older cousins’ by a long shot. I love that the school has so many communal activities!
As for me personally slowing down, my fantasy self reads lots of books, still knits and sews, and gardens... You’re right though, take it slow and one thing at a time. I’ve bought a few plants and put them on the window sill. I will work on mothering those for now!