Just the tip :)

For my 40th birthday, here's 40 tips, tricks and things I love

It’s my birthday tomorrow and I wanted to share a list of 40 things I love.

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1. Share energy in a yoga class. There’s many types of yoga styles for every physical level. This studio I go to has slow flow, restorative, hot flow, gentle stretch, even dance yoga. I used Shelby Lewis (based in Fallbrook) for a private session at my house with several friends and it was dreamy.

   

2. Walking dates with friends. At the beach, along the boardwalk, at the park, in your neighborhood. I’ve been doing this with friends since 2010s in Oakland, then in Oceanside, now in my little gated neighborhood. Great conversations and connections happen while in motion.

3. A more organized house has drop zones. YouTuber Caroline Winkler said it’s not about making new systems, but rather “making the system adhere to the habits people already have.” The entire video is good, this tip is #3. Her podcast with Jess DeBakey, Not For Everyone is a delight for any adult woman. Go listen!

4. This lotion is loved by my whole family. A little goes a long way! They are a black owned business out of Oceanside, Ca.

5. A mug warmer to keep drinks hot. I’ve purchased a few and this one seems to be the best because it has an auto shut-off so you don’t burn your place down. Also can be used to melt scented candles and gently fill the aroma in your room without using a flame.

6. Natural peanut butter stirrer, no more oil spilling out the sides when you mix with a knife. Thanks, substack writer Hilary!

   

7. Reading books aloud to my kids, and my partner. Books I loved as a kid (currently reading the Little House series), and enjoying new books together with my kids (like an old series, but new to us, The Magic Faraway Tree). I’ve read a couple of books entirely out loud to my partner. It’s great bonding time.

8. Use it all up. Tip from my sister: “I cut open makeup and beauty products to get every last bit of the product out. If I’m spending $75 for a facial moisturizer, I’m using ALL of it!”

   

9. Write down our family’s annual goals, frame them and hang it up in our shared living space for accountability.

10. Best spatula to flip eggs on a non-stick pan.

11. Waffle and pancake iron. It’s nonstick and I don’t even need oil or butter to use it. Also made paninis and grilled cheese in this bad boy.

12. Refrigerate avocados. Unripe avocados can be kept in the fridge and taken out when you’re ready for them. Ripe avocados also keep for a good while in the fridge. Thanks for the reminder and tip, substack writer Jeannie Lynn!

13. Buy used stuff. It’s fun, it’s good for the earth, my stuff is unique. It takes more time but it’s worth it!

    

    Skirt from consignment store, Captain’s Helm in Oceanside

14. Wool dryer balls with a few drops of essential oils is way better than dryer sheets.

15. Yoga with Kassandra on YouTube. She kick started my love of yoga through lockdown.

16. A picnic in my own yard. Lay a blanket, eat lunch outside, enjoy the sky.

17. Treat yo self to a fabulous massage, in your own home. Valerie from Sea Breeze Massage in the San Diego area is a dream.

18. Laying under a tree and looking up. It’s not the same as sitting under a tree and looking up. Put your back on the ground and enjoy.

19. Timeshifter App to help with jet lag. My entire family, including my young children used it. Enter your flight info and follow instructions on when to sleep, wake, drink caffeine, a few days ahead of your trip. It works if you follow it and you can enjoy more of your trip!

20. Writing by hand in a journal. Not to be confused with typing my thoughts. Handwriting is a completely different experience.

21. Poppy & Pout chapstick is the best chapstick that ever existed. Amen. The end.

22. Breakfast for dinner. Specifically, toast with butter and jelly, with a fried runny egg on top. It sounds weird but everyone who tries it loves it. Salty sweet! Making breakfast for dinner when you’re in a pinch, is a great idea. So many options — oatmeal, pancakes, fruit, eggs, frozen waffles, bacon!

23. The Cottage Fairy on YouTube for calm and beautiful videos. She also makes beautiful art on Etsy, great to keep around for cards.

24. My comfort food since I was a kid. Mix a ripe banana, rice, butter, salt. Warm it up, mix it up, eat it up. My kids also love it. Maybe their kids will find love in it too.

25. I asked close friends and family to describe me in 3 words. It’s a fun exercise.

    

    my 3 words from my sisters

26. Take a class, go to college, keep up with learning something new. Curiosity is a gift and a muscle we need to flex!

27. Picking flowers and greenery from my own yard, or out in the wild, and making my own arrangement in a vase.

28. A no-buy month.

29. A screen-free month.

30. Meditate and embrace affirmations. I use this deck. My yoga teacher, Shelby shares these affirmation cards by Gabby Bernstein. We have this deck for our kids.

31. Quality bags. 1) Convertible tote/shoulder/backpack handmade by a Ukrainian seller on Etsy. 2) Topo Designs has such good quality bags. 3) This Nixon bag is light and great to stick on top of your roller or for a weekend trip, also converts to a backpack.

32. Quality shoes. 1) I have three pairs of Ten Points boots, 2) run and walk only in Hoka, and 3) these Calou Clogs are easier on the knees because the soles are soft but look like wood.

33. Eating dinner as a family at the table, no screens. Discuss the day’s high/low, rose/bud/thorn, or use a dinner table talk book for fun question prompts.

34. Mixing up dates nights with my partner. Rather than sitting and eating out for dinner, we like hiking, walking in new neighborhoods, and yoga class dates.

35. Covry sunglasses for Asian faces (low bridge, high cheek bones). I’ve been wearing mine for several years.

36. Read multiple books at once. Like your changing mood, read books based on where your mind is at. For example, I’m currently reading two memoirs, a book on your brain on art, a book on writing, and a parenting/children’s growth book.

    

    reading this book for the 3rd time

37. As a person who is always cold, I live in this robe.

38. These socks are ugly but worth it and last forever.

39. Best pillows by Brooklinen.

40. This quote, which is supposed to be from Kurt Vonnegut. I can’t find the original source but it doesn’t matter because the message is solid.

    “When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of ‘getting to know you’ questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, no I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.

    “And he went wow. That’s amazing! And I said, ‘Oh no, but I’m not any good at any of them.’

    “And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: ‘I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.’

    “And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could ‘win’ at them.”